


Of Birthday Parties, Orange Juice, and Star-Gazing

by bobbysmixtape



Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: I swear, M/M, i just started shipping youngjae/suga, pls ship them like i do, they're cute together, wtf idk tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-01 19:42:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5218373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobbysmixtape/pseuds/bobbysmixtape
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I'm glad you don't.” Yoongi says. “You're a great singer, probably one of the best I've ever heard, and the k-pop world could stand to have more people like you.”</p><p>“What? Great singers?” Youngjae jokes.</p><p>“No. Great people.”</p><p> <br/>or<br/> </p><p>Yoongi learns that it takes an overcrowded birthday party, a spilt glass of orange juice, and star-gazing on the roof of a dorm filled with six extremely attractive guys to find someone as great as Youngjae.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Birthday Parties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Going to a social event in Daegu sounds a whole lot better than where Yoongi is right now.
> 
> A party.
> 
> Not just any party, but Jackson Wang’s birthday party.
> 
>  
> 
> or
> 
>  
> 
> Yoongi hates socializing, but somehow gets roped into going to a crowded birthday party.

Yoongi hates socializing.

 

No, it's not because he's some angsty teen that smokes, drinks, cusses, talks back to their parents, gets into fights, and thinks the whole world hates them.

 

(Yoongi snorts when he realizes that _yeah_ , he and Bangtan _are_ kind of like angsty teens with what they make their music about and how they act in general, not to mention that 92% of their music videos are depressing as fuck or involve some type of rebellious act.)

 

It's because he's a naturally quiet and introverted person, and having to be anywhere near people that chatter constantly and do nothing but talk about themselves gives him a headache and major anxiety. That's why he's kind of glad he became an idol, because now he doesn't have to worry about going to stupid college parties and other social events like he would've if he stayed in Daegu.

 

On second thought, though, going to a social event in Daegu sounds a whole lot better than where he is right now.

 

A party.

 

Not just any party, but _Jackson Wang’s birthday party._

 

It's not like Yoongi has a problem with him, or any of the other GOT7 guys. In fact, Yoongi likes them. They're pretty solid dudes that actually care about each other and don't just see each other as co-workers. Not to mention that all of them are nice, like _extremely_ nice, like _‘what the fuck, why are you so nice when everyone in the world is such a douche’_ nice. Yoongi doesn't think he's ever seen one of them _not_ smiling. Even their leader -- who Yoongi's heard a lot of bad shit about -- is always kind and welcoming. So no, he has no problem with the people hosting the party, his problem is with the party itself, to be more specific, the _socializing_ he’s going to have to partake in.

 

Originally, Yoongi hadn't even _planned_ on going to the party. Of course he'd known it was Jackson's birthday, and even told Namjoon to text Jackson and tell him happy birthday for him, but he never thought he'd be invited. He was sort of right, though. He _wasn't_ invited (okay, he kind of was, because Jackson's exact words to Namjoon were, _“Hey! You and the rest of Bangtan should come to my birthday party tonight!”_ but _still_ ), Namjoon was and by extension, the rest of the group was, too.

 

When the group had first arrived, all of them were shocked at the amount of people present -- Yoongi's sure he saw a couple SHINee and SNSD members walking around -- but it should've been expected. Jackson's a pretty popular dude with his bright and loud personality, and his naturally welcoming aura that draws people to him.

 

After the initial shock at the presence of over 100 people, the members started spreading out. Namjoon left in search of Jackson to tell him happy birthday, Seokjin went to go talk to that new group that everyone keeps talking about, because apparently _one of their members has pink hair, Yoongi!_ , Taehyung, Jimin, and Hoseok giggled as they walked off, eyes shining with mischief (god help the poor souls that they were going to mess with), and Jungkook, well, Yoongi wasn't paying attention to where the youngest wandered off to. So now, Yoongi's left alone.

 

How great.

 

 

 

An hour has passed, and luckily, Yoongi's only gotten a few hellos (from some people he's _never even talked to before_ , he might add) and a wave or two. No one has actively tried to engage in a conversation with him (probably because of the resting bitch face he's been sporting for a while now) and for that, he's thankful.

 

He's also bored, really, _really_ bored.

 

Scrolling through twitter did nothing but bore him more, and Yoongi would literally rather dunk himself in a barrel of acid than try and communicate with someone, so creepily standing in the corner and staring it is.

 

Even though it's dark, like super dark, like _‘holy shit, I'm sorry I bumped into you, I can hardly see’_ dark, Yoongi thinks he can see Hoseok in the middle of the dance floor, dancing to _Dope_  along with Taehyung and Jimin. Yoongi snorts at that, but feels flattered that the DJ is playing their new song, nonetheless.

 

“Suga-sunbaenim?”

 

The sudden voice almost gives Yoongi a heart attack.

 

After calming himself down, Yoongi looks toward the fidgety boy in front of him. He’s a little taller than Yoongi -- by a centimeter or two, give or take -- but has an innocent look to him, one Yoongi recognizes as that of a somewhat new idol.

 

Choi Youngjae. Vocalist in GOT7. 

 

Yoongi's never officially talked to him before, but he's heard great things about him and his voice. 

 

_Especially_ his voice.

 

(Okay, Yoongi doesn't want to sound like a dick bag, but honestly, he's never heard a GOT7 song aside from like two seconds of _A,_  but even then, he only heard Jackson's part, so Yoongi has yet to confirm if his voice is as great as people say.)  


 

“You're,” Yoongi's voice sounds rough from the lack of use. He clears his throat, causing the younger to jump at the sudden sound. “Youngjae, right?”

 

Youngjae's eyes widen in shock. He didn't expect Yoongi to know who he was.

 

(If he's being honest, he's so used to being overlooked, because the other members in his group are so much more talented and attractive than he is, or that's what Youngjae overhears the staff and coordi noonas saying, anyway. He tried to not let it get to him at the beginning, but after awhile, he accepted what they said. It's not like he could really argue when he agreed with them.)

 

Youngjae hesitantly nods, making sure to avoid looking Yoongi directly in the eye. It's not like he's scared of the older, okay, that's a lie. Youngjae's _a little_ scared of him, but that's only because he hasn't exactly heard great things about him.

 

Yoongi gives a terse nod and looks back at the dance floor. Youngjae follows and notices that the elder is staring at the other members of Bangtan. They're in the center of a small crowd, dancing the choreography of their new song.

 

“It's one of my favorites.”

 

Yoongi's brows furrow in confusion, “What?” He asks, eyes shifting back to the younger.

 

“The song,” Youngjae swallows the lump in his throat, and then quickly adds, “You produced it, right?”

 

Yoongi's surprised. He didn't expect someone like Youngjae to like his music or even _listen_ to it in general.

 

Youngjae and the rest of GOT7 were known for their charming good looks, their innocent smiles, their kind attitudes, their boyfriend image, while Yoongi and Bangtan were known for their anger, their aggression, their rebellious attitudes, their bad boy image. Both of the groups were polar opposites, but then again, Yoongi knows that you should never judge a book by its cover.

 

“Yeah,” Yoongi replies. He cocks his head to the side, looking at the younger curiously. “Yeah, I produced it.”

 

Youngjae smiles nervously. “I really liked the whole album, actually. It was-it was really good.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

It's quiet for a couple seconds before Yoongi opens his mouth, about to ask Youngjae a question when a short, skinny guy comes out of nowhere. Yoongi recognizes the boy as another member of GOT7. He has light brown hair, tan skin, and a slight accent.

 

Bambam.

 

Yoongi's seen him on a couple of variety shows. Him and Jackson are the equivalent of Hoseok and Taehyung, so naturally, Yoongi knows the kid will probably give him a headache if they ever have to interact.

 

“Come on, Youngjae-hyung! We need to get ready for Jackson-hyung’s surprise!”

 

Youngjae throws an apologetic look over his shoulder and shouts a quick “Bye, Suga-sunbaenim!” as he gets dragged away by the younger boy.

 

 

 

Ten minutes later and Yoongi's still confused over the whole interaction. He honestly never expected any member of GOT7 to try and talk to him. They're all too lively to want to hang out with someone as dull as Yoongi, but yet, Youngjae actually tried to carry a conversation with him, albeit an _awkward_ conversation, but a conversation, nonetheless.

 

Before Yoongi could think too much into it, the lights shut off, leaving the whole room in complete darkness. People start mumbling, confused as to what’s going on when suddenly, a spotlight turns on, shining down on the  GOT7 members. Jackson's standing in front of them, eyes shining bright with happiness.

 

“Happy birthday, Jackson-hyung!” Bambam shouts loudly into a microphone. Other people join in, yelling out their own _“Happy birthday, Jackson!”_

 

“You're kind of a pain in my a-- _ow!”_ Bambam yelps as he's nudged hard in the side by one of the other members. _“butt,”_ he grits out and looks toward the member that nudged him, earning a nod of approval, before continuing, “but you're still the best and I love you, bro!”

 

The rest say their own mini happy birthday speeches and then look towards Youngjae. Hesitantly, the vocalist lifts the microphone to his lips, “We know how much you love the song _‘Want To Want Me’_ by Jason Derulo, Jackson-hyung, so we decided to sing it for you. We hope you like it.” A small smile is flashed Jackson’s way as Youngjae goes to stand shoulder to shoulder with the others.

 

A guy Yoongi knows as JB -- GOT7’s leader -- starts singing first and soon the rest join in. All of them sing perfectly, loud voices booming off the walls.

 

Yoongi arches an eyebrow, pleasantly surprised at how well they sing, but then again, GOT7 _are_ known for their vocalists, hell, even their _rappers_ were known for their great vocals.

 

_“Girl, you're the one. I want you to want me.”_

 

Youngjae sings the chorus into the microphone, no backing vocals from the others, just him alone, and _wow._ Yoongi gets chills from all of the emotion flowing out of Youngjae and his voice. The vocalist doesn’t miss a beat, and even with the slight accent he has, he still manages to sing the English song perfectly, as if it were written for him and only him to sing.

 

Yoongi looks around at the rest of the crowd, noting how all of them look at Youngjae with the same awe he feels.

 

Yoongi’s always been in love with music. Hell, he thinks it’s the _only_ thing he’s ever truly loved, and it’s hard to find someone that's as dedicated to music as Yoongi is, but here he is, singing with so much passion that Yoongi can’t help but look at Youngjae with a fondness he didn’t even know he possessed.

 

All too soon, the song ends and ear-bursting cheers erupt from the crowd (and Yoongi, but if you ever ask him, he’ll deny it). Each member bows and then they take turns hugging Jackson who's sporting such a huge smile that Yoongi wouldn’t be surprised if his face split in half.

 

“Hey, Yoongi-hyung,” Hoseok says, popping out of nowhere and giving Yoongi his second almost heart attack of the night. The younger is all smiles as he talks, “Are you ready to go?”

 

“Yeah.” Yoongi mutters, disappoint clear in his voice. He wanted to talked to Youngjae some more. Hoseok notices the disappointment and looks at Yoongi worriedly, “Are you okay, hyung?” Yoongi waves him off like he always does when he's asked that question.

 

 

 

The maknae line are happily chattering about new friends they made, Seokjin’s grinning as he talks about how _cute_ Woozi and the rest of Seventeen were -- so, _that’s_ the name of the group, Yoongi thinks -- and Namjoon and Hoseok are talking about how awesome the party was.

 

With one last goodbye to Jackson, the members make their way towards the exit, but not before Yoongi catches Youngjae's eye and flashes him a small smile.

 


	2. Orange Juice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You better pray to every fucking god out there that I don't find you, Jung Hoseok.”
> 
> Yoongi's angry -- no, scratch that, he's furious. And sticky, very, very sticky, and lord help him, Hoseok is going to fucking pay.
> 
>  
> 
> or
> 
>  
> 
> Hoseok spills a glass of orange juice on Yoongi's head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter took me so long  
> school sucks ASS  
> but at least i'm on thanksgiving break now  
> :-):-):-):-):-)

“You better pray to every fucking god out there that I don't find you, Jung Hoseok.”

 

Yoongi's angry -- no, scratch that, he's _furious_. And sticky, very, _very_ sticky, and lord help him, Hoseok is going to fucking pay.

 

It was all fun and games at first, and _for once_ , Yoongi wasn't glaring at Hoseok, Jimin, and Taehyung, and asking himself how he'd ended up in a group filled with a bunch of idiots. No, quite the contrary. He was actually smiling at their stupid little jokes that probably killed a couple of his brain cells, and snorting when they accidentally knocked over a coordi noona’s makeup bag with their ridiculous dancing, and laughing when one of them got roasted by Namjoon or Jungkook (god bless those two, what would Yoongi do without them? -- _Probably crash and burn_ , a voice that sounds awfully similar to Jungkook’s whispers at the back of Yoongi's head).

 

But then -- _but fucking then_ \-- Hoseok had to be a little douche and spill a whole glass of orange juice on him. _How_ he even managed to do that was beyond Yoongi. (Really, how the _fuck_ do you manage to spill a glass of orange juice on top of someone's _head_?) It all went downhill from there, which should've been expected, because Yoongi can never stay happy for more than five minutes without something bad happening. (He thinks that he must've done some real bad shit in his past life -- which wouldn't be all that surprising, to be honest -- for the fates to really hate him this much.)

 

Yeah, yeah, he knows it was (probably) an accident and yes, Hoseok apologized profusely afterwards, but Yoongi could still see the amusement sparkling in the younger’s eyes. And wow, oh, wow, how that had pissed him off.

 

So, now here Yoongi is. Stomping down the halls of some weird radio show company building _thing_ he doesn't even know the name of, white shirt (his _favorite_ white shirt, he'd like to add) stained a light orange color, blonde hair sticking to his forehead, whole body sticky and gross, and face so red it'd put a tomato to shame. Safe to say, after he finds that dick Hoseok and wrings his neck, he's going to need a shower and maybe an aspirin or two...or twenty.

 

_Where the fuck could he be?_ , Yoongi thinks as he continues his manhunt, shoes making little squishy noises every time they come in contact with the ground and only fueling his annoyance even more. The halls of the building all look exactly the same and Yoongi's 87% sure he saw that stupid ass painting of a fruit bowl like three times already (seriously, who the fuck was the interior designer?).

 

After a few more walks around the hallways and asking himself how his life ended up like this, Yoongi sighs in annoyance. God damn it, he's lost, he's fucking _lost_. How can he be lost in a _one-story_ building? Is that even _possible_? Apparently it is if him standing in the middle of a desolate hallway, eyes scanning the doors for any familiar signs and gritting his teeth in frustration when he sees none is anything to go by.

 

Yoongi should call one of the members (preferably Seokjin, because the elder would give him the least amount of shit about getting lost) and ask for help. Yeah, he'll do that. Lifting up his sticky shirt, Yoongi feels around his pocket for his phone.

 

_Keys?_ No. _Gum?_ No. _Paperclip?_ (Why the hell does he have a paperclip in his pocket?) No.

 

_You gotta be kidding me_ , Yoongi growls, already 200% done with today. He forgot his phone in the damn room. _Great job, Min Yoongi, great fucking job, A+ worthy actions,_ ** _really_** _, you deserve a medal._

 

“You're not mad. You're not mad. You're just a little annoyed.” Yoongi mutters to himself as he closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, you're just a little annoyed. Someone will come looking for you and then you'll be able to take a shower -- and possibly a nap -- and you'll be all fine and dandy.” And just as Yoongi was finally calming down, he made the mistake of opening his eyes.

 

There, hiding behind a fucking plant, was Hoseok.

 

Hoseok’s eyes widen when he realizes he's been caught, “Shit, shit, shit, shit!” He screams as he runs for dear life.

 

The dancer navigates his body around the unfamiliar building, lungs and legs protesting at the exertion, and wow, he just wants to rest. It doesn't even have to be for that long, just give him a second or two -- fuck, he'd even take a _nanosecond_ at this point.

 

He chances a peek over his shoulder, trying to see if Yoongi was still chasing after him -- he was, how fun -- and curses when he almost trips over his own feet. _Okay, okay, so_ ** _that_** _wasn't a smart idea_ , Hoseok groans. When the hell did Yoongi get so athletic, jesus christ, Hoseok’s dying over here.

 

Just as he was about to give up and accept his defeat like a man, Hoseok spots a door partially hidden by a vending machine, and god bless, he's never seen something look more holy. With his last bit of energy, he pushes his body towards the door and sighs in relief when it locks safely behind his heaving chest and sweaty back.

 

_Note to self: Never mess with Yoongi-hyung._

 

 

 

When Yoongi and Hoseok were brought back to the waiting room that held the others, Yoongi was told that he wouldn't be able to take a shower until _after_ the live radio show, which means that he'd have to sit on an uncomfortable chair, practically shoulder to shoulder with the other members, sticky and smelling like oranges, while being asked personal and sometimes weird questions -- an example being what type of shampoo he prefers (apparently the fans want to know), like what the fuck, he didn't even _know_ there were different types. _Of course there are, dummy. There's shampoo for straight hair, wavy hair, frizzy hair, etc._ Seokjin had told him when he asked. Literally though, why the hell do you need so many different types of shampoos? Don't they all do the same thing? Like, Yoongi doesn't know, _clean your hair._ \-- for an hour or more.

 

Doesn't that sound so fun?

 

No, no it doesn't.

 

Yoongi's on the verge of killing someone and Hoseok’s at the top of the list. Speaking of the younger, he's sat three members down from Yoongi (thank god), laughing and joking around with Taehyung. Yoongi can't help but glare holes into the side of his head.

 

“Ah, come on, Yoongi-hyung,” Jimin says, propping his head up with his left arm, eyes turning into little crescents as he smiles, “Don't be too mad at Hobi-hyung. It was an accident, after all. I'll even buy you a new shirt, if you want.” He proposes, eyebrows wiggling.

 

Yoongi huffs and crosses his arms over his chest as he slides further into his uncomfortable chair. He's _still_ mad and _still_ sticky and Hoseok is _still_ going to pay.

 

 

 

Yoongi doesn't necessarily _hate_ doing interviews or radio shows or TV shows or anything of that sort, in fact, he actually kind of likes them. Like what's not to like? He gets an excuse to talk about his music while getting his ego boosted by the many compliments from the fans, and occasionally, getting free food, too. So yeah, he definitely likes them, _most of the time_. Right now is _not_ one of those times.

 

The interview had started out good (well, as good as it could get while being covered in dried orange juice), but then it went downhill real fast, like faster than fast, like faster than the speed of light fast. They literally went from answering questions about their music and friendship to questions being solely and wholeheartedly directed to and only for Jungkook.

 

Yoongi knows that the kid is attractive and “the whole package” of sorts, but _come on_ , he isn't the _only_ member in the group. But it's not like Yoongi can be mad at him, it's not like he does shit like this on purpose or it's his fault for being so popular, so the rapper just opted to tune out the rest of the radio show. It's not like anyone noticed considering he rarely talks as it is and mostly everyone knows that they shouldn't talk to him unless they've been talked to first.

 

(Yoongi likes to think it's because he oozes an authoritative aura and people are intimidated it, but it's most likely because of the fact that he always has a resting bitch face, which is _not_ entirely his fault, his face just _naturally_ sits like that.)

 

Also, counting how many hairs Seokjin has on his head is actually more interesting than the interview, so, you know, whatcha gonna do?

 

 

 

After getting annoyed, because he kept losing count multiple times, Yoongi started drumming his fingertips against the wooden table, ignoring the dirty looks Namjoon was sending his way. It's not like he's making that much of a ruckus, so he should be allowed to do what he wants. It's a free country, god damn it. But apparently Namjoon doesn't realize that if his unrelenting glaring is anything to go by, so instead, Yoongi rolls his eyes, and chooses to watch the seconds tick away on the clock above the doorway. It's kind of symbolic if you think about it. Him letting his life go by as he does nothing with it. But Yoongi's never been philosophical like Namjoon, so he doesn't give a rat’s ass if the clock ticking away has some deeper meaning behind it.

 

The silence of the room catches Yoongi's attention. He notices that the others are looking at him expectantly and _shit_ , he should've been listening. “I'm sorry, can you repeat that?”

 

The host chuckles, eyes gleaming with amusement as he repeats the question, “I asked if any groups or idols have caught your attention.”

 

Without missing a beat, Yoongi says, “Youngjae from GOT7.” The members look at him in shock, expecting Yoongi to mention a female idol or respond with his go-to “No.”

 

“Ah, yes,” The host nods his head, “I've heard of him. He's a vocalist, correct?”

 

“Uh...” Yoongi swallows, uncertainty boiling thick in his stomach, “...yeah?” It comes out as more of a question than he intended it to.

 

“Is there a specific reason he's caught your attention?”

 

“He,” Yoongi considers his words, pondering whether or not he should say that Youngjae ‘sings fucking beautifully and is oddly intriguing,’ but then decides against it, “...sings good.”

 

Satisfied with the answer, the host continues on a different topic, leaving Yoongi to wallow in embarrassment and prepare himself for the multiple questions his members were sure to have for him later.

 

 

 

After a well-deserved shower (and strangling of Hoseok), Yoongi gets in bed, sighing in content as soon as his head touches the pillow. He turns on his side, ready to let the shallow breaths of Seokjin lull him to sleep when his phone buzzes on the nightstand next to him. Yoongi debates ignoring the text or reading it and then decides _eh, why the hell not?_ He rolls over, reaches for his phone, and then groans, embarrassment coursing through his veins, when he reads it.

 

**From: Unknown Number**

_Thanks for the shout-out, Suga-sunbaenim._

 

(If you ever ask Yoongi, he'll deny saving the number as “Cute Vocalist Choi Youngjae” in his contacts.)

 


	3. Star-Gazing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This isn't a good idea. Yoongi's mind screams at him and really, he knows, but knowing isn't the same thing as acknowledging, so he raises his hand and knocks, anyway.
> 
>  
> 
> or
> 
>  
> 
> Yoongi goes to the GOT7 dorm at two am and ends up star-gazing with Youngjae

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is dedicated to the loves of my life  
> my baes, got7  
> they're honestly the best people in the world and deserve to be way more popular  
> bc they're so nice and sweet and cute and they make gr8 music  
> and they're just gr8 in general  
> i hope that life treats them well bc they definitely deserve it

_This isn't a good idea._ Yoongi's mind screams at him and really, _he knows_ , but knowing isn't the same thing as acknowledging, so he raises his hand and knocks, anyway.

 

The knock echoes throughout the small, empty hallway and Yoongi shuffles awkwardly, already regretting coming here.

 

Here being GOT7’s dorm.

 

Don't ask him how he got the address (it involved a lot of ~~**begging**~~ bothering Namjoon, a promise to do some really embarrassing, horrible things, and his dignity to become nonexistent), because it's a long, pride-shattering story that he'd rather not share.

 

Yoongi didn't even have a reason for wanting to come. Okay, maybe he did. Maybe the reason was a certain brown-haired boy with a cute little mole by his eye and the voice of an angel, but Yoongi would never admit that. Cheesy feelings like those are meant to be put into the love songs Bang PD-nim makes the group do every once in awhile, so the teen girls don't forget about them.

 

But there's just something about Youngjae that calls out to Yoongi. That makes him think that maybe cheesy feelings _are_ meant to be shared, but only with the right person.

 

Maybe Youngjae's that right person.

 

He's interesting, to say the least. He's shy yet a social butterfly. He's quiet yet loud with a voice that booms off the walls and resonates from deep within him. He's dull yet bright, laugh so contagious that just thinking about it brings a gummy smile to Yoongi's face. He's positive and happy yet constantly has a pained look in his eyes. He's respectful yet demands respect from others. He's a paradox in himself and Yoongi’s never really liked paradoxes. They were always too complicated for him to understand, but yet, he finds that maybe Youngjae, maybe this complex paradox wrapped in the fidgety, innocent-looking body of a young boy, is interesting enough for him to try and understand. He’d like to think that he's smart enough to do just that. Or maybe he's not. Maybe he'll have to spend the rest of his life trying to figure out the mystery that is Choi Youngjae. Honestly, though, that doesn't sound like a bad idea, either.

 

“Suga-sunbaenim?”

 

Youngjae's voice brings Yoongi back to the present.

 

The younger is wearing a SpongeBob onesie, eyes slightly red and hazy with sleep and unguarded, emotions visible for everyone to see, soft hair not in its usual styled manner, and Yoongi finds that he likes this look better on him. This sort of vulnerability and openness that's uncommon in idols, especially ones in as big of a company as Youngjae's.

 

Youngjae stifles a yawn and tries to rub the sleep away from his eyes with the back of his hands. It's late, Yoongi realizes. Not too late -- maybe two a.m. or so -- but late enough for it to be considered weird for him to be at the dorm of a guy he's only said hello to in passing and just recently had a conversation with. Youngjae's not questioning it, though, and it's not like Yoongi had meant to come so late. He was just walking back to Bangtan's dorm after a long and rough day at the studio, tired and slightly annoyed, because he needed a vocalist for a song on his mixtape and none of the ones he brought in felt right to him, when his body subconsciously brought him here, brought him to this boy wearing a pajama set made for a child with a cartoon on it.

 

Yoongi smiles as soon as his eyes settle on Youngjae's slightly red face. It seems the younger realized exactly what he's wearing, too.

 

“I-I, uh,” Youngjae's eyes are finally wide open, no traces of sleep found within them, and he's stuttering. A sound that Yoongi usually finds annoying when others do it, but he doesn't mind it right now. “Sorry.”

 

Yoongi cocks a perfectly-shaped brown eyebrow at that, arms crossed over his chest as he leans against the wall near the door, “What for?”

 

“For my, you know,” Youngjae motions frantically towards his outfit, face flushed a pretty pink color that makes him look even more innocent than he usually does and Yoongi smiles -- a _real_ smile that isn't as forced as it usually is, that lights up his whole face and makes his pale skin look brighter and more radiant than the sun, that makes him look like a teenager again, oblivious to the horrors of the world and wow, Youngjae breathes out, he looks stunning even in the poor lighting that the dorm hallway offers.

 

Yoongi shifts a little, face now directly under the light, causing shadows to come alive and dance across his face. “Don't be.” He says, voice as soft as his expression is, “You look good in it.”

 

 

 

The night sky looks pretty.

 

And bright.

 

Brighter than either has ever seen before and it's as if the heavens knew that they would be out tonight, sitting side by side on the roof of a dorm too small for seven growing boys, eyes taking in the hundreds -- no, _thousands_ \-- of stars the universe has to offer.

 

It's quiet at first. The only sound heard being the soft inhales and exhales of the two boys, chests rising and falling in sync. The night is cold, a slight breeze causes Yoongi's clothes to rustle and he smiles, he's always loved the cold weather. But the shivering figure next to him catches his attention.

 

Youngjae's hair is no longer messed up much to Yoongi's dislike. He had fixed it almost immediately after seeing his reflection on the way up to the roof. Yoongi supposes that he would've fixed his hair, too, if he was in Youngjae's shoes. Constantly used to being in the spotlight, used to the scrutinizing looks that accompany being an idol in a huge company, used to always having to be perfect and presentable, and Yoongi knows that it must be hard on him. It must be hard to never be allowed to make mistakes, because you're already seen as the useless member, to never be treated as a true idol, because you didn't train for as long as the others, to be viewed as unattractive, because the other members in your group look as if they came out of a magazine ad with hair styled perfectly and clothes perfectly tucked, no wrinkles in sight, and you're, well, you're plain, beauty a little different than what's acceptable and not easily seen by others.

 

**_Yeah_** _, it must be hard,_ Yoongi thinks. Yet, he's never seen Youngjae without a smile, never heard him complain, either. Yoongi doesn't know how he does it. He, himself, has never been able to sit back and take things or see the positive side. No. Yoongi's a fighter. He may not outright say how he feels -- regardless of the fact that he's known for his blunt attitude -- but he expresses his emotions through his music. That's his outlet. Always has been and always will be.

 

But maybe that's Youngjae's outlet. Maybe his outlet is smiling and trying to see the brighter side of things. Yoongi wouldn't be surprised if it was. Youngjae is nice, probably the nicest person Yoongi knows, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. In fact, that's one of the things the rapper likes most about the vocalist. His pure, sweet, innocent image.

 

Ironic, huh?

 

Yoongi always talks about how much he hates the idol image, but Youngjae isn't like that because he's an idol. No, he's like that because that's who he truly is.

 

“Do you ever regret it?” Yoongi asks suddenly, gruff voice breaking the comfortable silence and startling the younger.

 

Youngjae turns his body towards the elder, eyes taking in his small, skinny form, his bleach blonde hair peeking out from underneath a black beanie with what Youngjae recognizes as an English swear word on it (thank Jackson-hyung for that), his hoodie that seems a few sizes too big for him and he stares, trying to figure out this complicated mystery that turned up on his doorstep way past midnight, before opening his mouth to respond. “Regret what?”

 

“You know,” Yoongi blows out a puff of air as he leans back slightly, arms supporting his weight on either side of his body, “becoming an idol. Do you ever regret it?” He finishes, eyes staring at the night sky, face neutral, no hint of emotion present, and Youngjae doesn't know what to think when the rapper's like this, blank and distant, as if he's there but not really.

 

Youngjae stays quiet for a few seconds, words jumbled up in his brain as he thinks of what to say. But after awhile, he finds that he doesn't quite know the answer himself.

 

Did he regret it? Did he regret his choice of becoming an idol? Of living his life in the public’s eye, nothing he does ever being a secret for long? Of never being able to let loose and have fun and just be a teenager? Of never getting to experience the sensation of falling in love, because the fans don’t like it when idols date? Of constantly living in fear of being forgotten, because of the fans that quickly drop groups as soon as a new one comes along? Of hardly being able to see or talk to his family, because of the busy schedules that the group can't seem to escape?

 

He's never given it too much thought before, but there are times when he catches a few tears streaming down his face when he can't master the choreography or can't match a certain pitch or just can't do anything in general, but he doesn't know if he regrets the life he chose. He loves singing, loves everything related to music, loves the rush of adrenaline he gets while performing on stage, loves the millions of fans that shout his and his group members’ names and sing along to every song, loves the life-long friends he's made in the past few years, loves the look of pride his mother gets when she sees him for the first time in months. Youngjae may not love everything that comes with the life of an idol, but as long as he gets to sing, he's perfectly content with his decision.

 

“No,” He pauses, trying to think of how to word his thoughts, “or at least, I don't think so. I mean, it's hard sometimes...It's hard to live this life, but singing is all I've ever wanted to do, all I've ever imagined myself doing, so I think I'm happy with my decision and I don't think I'd go back in time and stop myself from auditioning.”

 

Yoongi looks at Youngjae, _really_ looks at him, looks at the way his soft brown hair seems to create a halo around his head, looks at the little twinkle of curiosity that permanently resides in his wide, deep, dark brown eyes, looks at the way his nose crinkles up sometimes when he's talking, looks at the slight rosy tint of his cheeks that's always there no matter what, looks at the way his small pink lips shift up in the slightest when he talks about things that interest him.

 

Yoongi looks at him -- not for the first time and hopefully not for the last -- eyes seemingly building him up (and maybe eventually going to tear him down) and Youngjae's uncertain now. About what exactly, he doesn't know, but what he does know is that Yoongi has the power to make him feel small, weak, frail, has the power to make him feel like he's an open book, free for all of the world to read and it's interesting. Interesting, because even if Youngjae's not the strongest person, he still prides himself on his ability to speak freely, his ability to stand up for himself, his ability to hold his head up high. But not around Yoongi. No, around Yoongi he's someone else entirely.

 

Yoongi finally turns away from the pale boy next to him, eyes back on the bright stars above, after nodding slightly at his answer, seemingly content and a small bubble of pride bursts in the younger’s chest, because whatever thing he said, whatever mix of emotions and words he voiced, was enough to please the rapper.

 

“I'm glad you don't.” Yoongi says. “You're a great singer, probably one of the best I've ever heard, and the k-pop world could stand to have more people like you.”

 

“What? Great singers?” Youngjae jokes.

 

“No. Great people.”

 

Youngjae's shocked for a few seconds before a small smile makes its way onto his face, cold weather no longer an issue as his body fills up with a comforting warmth, a warmth that makes him feel protected and important and _wanted._ “Thanks, Suga-sunbaenim.”

 

“Hyung.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“You can call me hyung.”

 

“Oh.” Youngjae's heart's beating fast, faster than what should be medically possible, and he can't breathe, or rather, he's forgotten _how_ to breathe. “Okay...hyung.” The word feels weird on his tongue, not a bad sort of weird, but a good one, a weird that's different from anything he's ever felt, a weird that finally allows air to flood into his lungs and it's nice, it's a nice feeling that has his body slumping in relief.

 

Yoongi stretches, back popping with an unpleasant noise after sitting in one position for so long, and then lays down on the cold, hard concrete before speaking again, “Are they nice to you?”

 

Youngjae follows his actions and lays down next to him and now they're closer, closer than they were before. Close enough to accidentally knock shoulders, close enough to feel each other's body heat through the thin layers of clothing, close enough to feel the brush of the other's fingers every time one of them shifts. “Who?”

 

“Your members.” Another breeze of wind comes and Youngjae unconsciously snuggles into Yoongi's side. The rapper's body tenses at first and he swallows hard, then relaxes, letting his body welcome the warmth of the younger’s. “Do they treat you well?”

 

Youngjae finds himself nodding slightly after he processes the question, “Y-yeah. They treat me well.” He answers, picking slightly at a loose thread on his onesie, “All of them are nice to me, super nice actually. To be honest, though, I was kind of scared of them at first,” Youngjae admits, tone sheepish. “They had all been in the company way longer than I had been and Jaebum-hyung and Jinyoung-hyung had even debuted already, so I was sort of intimidated by them, but they were all so welcoming.” Youngjae smiles fondly, lost down memory lane, and Yoongi smiles, too, because he can see how happy the GOT7 members make the younger.

 

“What are they like?” Yoongi prompts, hoping to see Youngjae smile for a little longer. 

 

Youngjae lights up before snuggling even more into Yoongi's side and sighing happily, “They’re so great, honestly. Jaebum-hyung was the first member I met. He was so nice and took me under his wing, helping me with the choreography I couldn't get down and the notes I kept cracking on. I know people gossip and I'm sure you've heard the rumors about his bad temper, but he's one of the nicest, most thoughtful people I know. He's a really great leader, too, and actually takes our opinions into consideration and won't hesitate to help us when we need him. I think being a leader is hard on him sometimes, though. People always talk about him, whether it's because he's too strict with us or he's too laid back. Nothing he does is ever right to them and I can see him trying to be strong for our sake, but I just wish he wouldn't think that the weight of the world is on his shoulders. Until then, we'll all be there for him to lean on. 

 

Mark-hyung is kind of interesting. He was distant at first -- the only people he'd really talk to were Jaebum-hyung and Jinyoung-hyung and occasionally Jackson-hyung when he forced him to -- so I didn't really start getting close to him until a few months after debut. He was nice, though, always helping when I asked and even teaching the other members and I about America and teaching us some English. He still does that, but it's better now. He talks to all of us more, but he still prefers to be quiet, eyes always calculating and observing everything around him. He picks up on a lot of things by doing that. Mark-hyung is usually the first one to notice when something’s wrong. His family is really nice, too. They welcome the whole group whenever we find ourselves in America. I like it a lot when we travel over there, because that's when Mark-hyung’s the most talkative and happiest. 

 

Jackson-hyung is something else. He's loud and crazy and social and funny and just everything that you could ever want in a person. But don't tell him I told you that, his ego’s already big enough. He hardly ever takes anything seriously, but when you need him to, he will. He has no sense of personal space whatsoever, but no one usually minds, because that's just Jackson being Jackson. When I first met him, he made it his personal mission to introduce me to everyone even though he was still struggling with his Korean. I'd say that he was the first person I really opened up to in the group. He just has this naturally welcoming aura that draws people to him. Jackson-hyung is the best person to talk to when you just need someone to listen. He doesn't judge you and even if he can't help you with your problem, he still tries to make it up to you. Jackson-hyung is one of the best people and deserves all of the happiness in the world.

 

Jinyoung-hyung is like the mom of our group. He takes care of us when we're sick, makes sure we eat during our hectic schedules, and even nags like a real mom. He overdoes it with the aegyo, but I think it's a part of his charm, it's what makes him Park Jinyoung. He’s really caring, too. We have a lot of foreign members in our group and they get homesick every once in awhile, so Jinyoung-hyung will make them their favorite foods and buy them things -- one time he bought Bambam some Thai snacks to make him feel better -- and tell them dumb little jokes and it's nice, it's nice to see the members smiling after missing a family members’ birthday or a holiday and not being able to call. I miss my family, too, sometimes, which isn't fair of me to say considering that Mark-hyung’s family is a whole ocean away, but it's great to have Jinyoung-hyung around. He's like my mom away from home.

 

Bambam is like Jackson-hyung’s sidekick. They're always together, practically hip to hip, causing trouble and giving the managers heart attacks. I don't know the full story of how they got so close, because by the time I was introduced to them, they were already best buddies, but I can only assume that they bonded over their mutual enjoyment of playing pranks.” Youngjae rolls his eyes, but there's a small, affectionate smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

 

“Regardless of the fact that he's a troublemaker, Bambam is one of the most genuine people I know. You'd think that since he's been in entertainment since he was little that he'd be conceited, but he's always been so humble and thankful. He always reminds us to thank the fans whenever we receive anything, because they're the reason we're getting it in the first place. He talks to the fans constantly and poses for pictures and is just an overall nice person to them. I know there's people that think it's just an act, that he doesn't care about the fans, and that he's just doing it, because that's what he's paid to do, but it's not an act. Bambam genuinely cares about the fans, more than anyone I know, and I'm glad that I know someone like him. Someone that takes nothing for granted and makes sure to give back.

 

And then there's Yugyeom. I don't think he's afraid of anything with how much he talks back, but most of the time, it's all for fun, because even if he speaks informally to Jackson-hyung or doesn't clean his room when Jinyoung-hyung tells him to, he still respects them and knows when to listen. He's surprisingly mature for his age, knowing how to talk to us about problems that are too heavy for him to know about at his age, but at the same time, he's innocent. Far more innocent than an eighteen year old boy should be, and it's fascinating, fascinating to see the world through his pure eyes. Sometimes, I'll sit with him on this very roof and we'll talk for hours and hours about the world, about how he sees it, about the people in it, about everything. He makes the world's problems sound so easily fixable and it's frightening how logical his theories sound. Yugyeom’s smart, smarter than he should be, and I hope one day he acts on those theories and changes the world for the better.”

 

When Youngjae finishes, he clears his throat awkwardly and looks up into Yoongi's eyes, cheeks tinted a light red color after he realizes how much he's said. “Sorry. Didn't mean to ramble on so much.”

 

Yoongi smiles slightly down at him and shakes his head, “It's fine. I don’t mind. You forgot a member, though.”

 

“I did?” Youngjae asks, eyebrows scrunched up in confusion and small frown on his lips. “Jaebum-hyung, Jinyoung-hyung, Mark-hyung…” He whispers to himself, counting each member on his fingers. He holds up 6 fingers and looks at the elder indignantly, “No I didn't.”

 

Yoongi smirks, amused at the actions of the younger. “Yeah you did. Not unless there's only 6 members in GOT7.”

 

Youngjae laughs -- a twinkling sound that lights up his whole face and ignites a fire deep in Yoongi's heart -- because he _finally_ understands what the rapper's trying to say. “You could've just asked me to talk about myself.”

 

“Where's the fun in that?”

 

The vocalist nods his head in agreement, “Fair enough.” He replies. “But what exactly do you want to know? I'm kind of boring, or _really_ boring, depending on who you ask.”

 

“Well, what if I asked you?”

 

“Then I'd say that I'm a nice person, but I could be nicer. I sing okay, but I'm not the best. I crack a few jokes every once in awhile, but I wouldn't call myself funny. I'm not unpleasant to look at, but I'm not idol level of attractiveness. I get good grades in school, but I'm not smart.”

 

Youngjae pauses, thinking of what else to say, and Yoongi takes the chance to cut in, “Well, you know what I'd say?” He asks the younger. “I'd say that you're too nice for your own good, always allowing people to walk all over you and never complaining when they do. You don't talk back even though people treat you as if you don't matter, treat you as if you're not as important as the other members, because you didn't train for as long. You're too humble, never realizing how great of a singer you are, how you could beat everyone in even the biggest and most experienced groups in a singing competition. You're too oblivious to how special you are, always talking about yourself in such low regard even though you're better than everyone else in the world combined, because you're caring and giving and funny and nice and beautiful and everything anyone could ever hope to be.”

 

The silence that follows is thick, thick enough to cut with a knife, thick enough for Yoongi to touch, and it's suffocating, too, oh so suffocating and he's surprised he hasn't died yet from the lack of oxygen.

 

“I'm sorry, Youngjae. I didn't mean to, I just.” He says after awhile, voice small, childlike and it's odd. Odd, because paired with his soft features, he looks and sounds too young, looks too innocent to be the same guy that raps about hating the world, the same guy that cusses in every song his company allows him to.

 

Yoongi makes a move to sit up and leave, but Youngjae wraps an arm around his slim waist, effectively stopping him, “It's okay, hyung, it's okay.” He whispers into the loose material of the elder’s hoodie. “Please stay. Don't leave me.”

 

Yoongi's breath is coming out in harsh pants, body tense, and mind complete chaos, unable to focus on one thought at a time, because it quickly gets replaced by another. He's never had a panic attack before or known anyone that has, but he assumes that this is probably what it feels like. A sudden surge of overwhelming anxiety and fear, heart pounding miles per hour, body refusing to take in air, and feeling like you're dying or going crazy.

 

“Yoongi-hyung.”

 

And like that, Yoongi relaxes, night air dousing the uncontrollable flames in his lungs, but not in his heart. No, the flames in his heart are still there, still bright and scalding and brilliant, just like the person that causes them to ignite.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> should i continue this fic  
> or end it here  
> idk  
> i'm just casually going to leave it as "chapters: 3/?"
> 
> update:  
> i'm not going to continue this fic  
> bc i'm currently writing a new one  
> and i wanna focus wholeheartedly on it  
> but maybe someday in the near future  
> i'll continue this fic  
> it was a blast writing this and it'll always be my favorite  
> LONG LIVE THE YOONJAE SHIP

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [love is nonsensical](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5284082) by [morganelisabeth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/morganelisabeth/pseuds/morganelisabeth)




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